Hey All,
This is going to be a pretty raw and personal post, something that I’ve been going through the last couple of months and looking around, I’m definitely not alone in my journey. I was debating about whether to post this or not, but having benefited from others sharing their experiences, I think it is good that I share mine, who knows who it might inspire and help. It will be far from the best post I’ve ever written and there are probably far better posts on the topic, but please consider sharing it if you have creative friends, they may be going through the same thing.
For the past couple of months I’ve been looking at my photography and I’ve been bored with it, my work took a turn somewhere and in the process I lost my focus, my vision and the very essence of what drives me. It’s not that I’ve been taking bad photos, to the contrary, I think I’ve been producing some pretty decent work, I’ve just not liked any of the photos I’ve been taking… for quite some time now. It became too easy, too cliché and the same as what everyone else is shooting.
After a good couple of days of introspection, pondering and possibly even a little soul searching, it occurred to me that I had, once again, stopped taking photographs for myself. I had seen the lure of potential.. of what could be and started to chase it, disregarding my vision and drive in the process, I have strayed from my path. Instead of just exploring, connecting with the landscape and letting it speak to me, I began chasing the next thing that would go viral on Facebook and Google+, something that would get shared like crazy on twitter and somehow make me feel relevant and legitimate about my photography. When the goal changes, so does the vision and direction. No longer breaking new ground and forging a route of my own, I was following the hoards of photographers and in the process, I lost myself in the crowd.
My landscape and fine art photography has always been my escape, my refuge from the days troubles… in essence it has always been about feeding my soul and expressing my journey and experience. My art was always about what I was feeling and experiencing. A +1 ,a like or a retweet were always welcome, but never the objective. For most of my “career” I’ve not really cared what other people think of my work , it was never about them, it’s always been for me. The drive to be creative and nourish myself has always been the main thing… a very selfish and self-absorbed pastime really.
I’ve always been the one to avoid the tourist spots, the over photographed areas and to really search and find my own locations. I’ve never been one to ask another photographer where an image was taken or how it was done. I’m not interested in lining up the tripod holes, getting the exact settings and GPS co-ordinates and trying to emulate someone else’s image. Instead I go to the hidden places at strange times of day to capture images that no one else has.
Unfortunately somewhere along the line I started seeing other photographers with decent to great work… making more than just a living out of their photography (something I’m still struggling to do), some of them are making an absolute killing. They’ve had more success than I could dream of. Looking at their work and comparing it to mine, I began to wonder why I wasn’t seeing the profitability that they were. In the process my creativity took a dive off the cliff with a lead anchor. My focus had shifted from creation to profits.. not that profiting from your work is a bad thing.. indeed it helps the work be sustainable.. but it can’t be all about the profit.
In the last week of introspection and soul searching I’ve come to the realisation that I need to just stop. Take a breath, find my creativity again and let it grow. It’s high time I ventured out again, explored, discovered and captured that connection I feel with the landscape and ocean. My artwork has never been about awards, financial gain or notoriety, it’s time to go back to my roots, cut away all the baggage and just soak in the experiences. Does this mean I’m going to shut up shop and stop pursuing my commercial photography.. not at all, it’s just time I checked my goals, work out what motivates me and adjust my path accordingly.
Ansel Adams said that 12 high quality images in a year is a good year.. I don’t see how doing projects like 365 days a year is really helping you get those 12 images. Putting needless pressure on ourselves to be creative on demand just doesn’t work. Instead of producing high quality work, we start producing very mediocre work just for the sake of posting something for those +1s, likes and retweets.
I’m going on a journey.. a journey of rediscovery, I invite you to join me!
The journey of discovery, creation and the experience are all the rewards I need… although it would be nice if people paid their invoices on time too, that way I can pay mine! ;)
Feel free to leave your comments and thoughts, I’d love to hear what motivates you and drives you!
Regards
Paul Pichugin
Hi Paul,
I follow you on Facebook, I’m only starting on my photography journey. I enjoyed your post it really came from the heart and struck a chord with me. Unfortunately when we take something we love and turn it into our career we can loose our joy and creativity in the process. I for one love your photography and it inspires me to push myself further and to think outside the box… Sometimes I am in awe of some of the images I see other photographers take yours included. Especially like the new direction you have taken recently with your photography. Still have no idea how your doing it… Take heart and stay true to yourself, be less defensive, recapture your joy and the creativity will flow…. But please don’t stop posting on FB I love being touch with what your doing.
Hi Jess,
Thanks for taking the time to comment, I appreciate it! I’m just taking a bit of a sabbatical from social media in general for now.. not sure how long for at this stage, just need to find some batteries and recharge them. I’m going to be posting to my blog much more regularly, it should update facebook for me.. but I’ve had a few issues with that working properly. Best bet is to subscribe to my blog.. you can subscribe via email on the right hand side of the blog :)
Thanks again for the comment, it means a lot to me, all the best with your photography, if you have any questions, send me an email, I’m more than happy to help out :)
Regards
Paul
Paul
Wow, a great thought provoking blog post. It hit me in so many ways and is one that could have easily come from my own thoughts. I too have been quiet since November last year as I have had my own internal struggles and found little motivation to pick up a camera, and when I did I would try to emulate others images I saw on the net, almost as though I HAD to shoot the morning sunrise!
Thanks for posting the inner feelings and struggles you have been coping with as its given me added impetus to shoot what I like and when I like, not when I think I should.
I shall be watching your blog with interest and see the images you create with a real interest. Good luck Paul and all the best for the future.
Hi Paul,
Great blog thanks.
I would take a photo of that Boat Shed, why? because i would like to capture it and enjoy the experience. It’s like going to Paris and not shooting the Eiffel Tower because everyone else has. I would just shoot at a different angle, distance and Time of Day (but i’m sure this has been thought of) Nothing wrong with cliche just put your spin on it and don’t post it if not required, just print it for yourself or keep on your HDD or share with friends at least you can say you have been to that location and had a fantastic time.
Keep up the great work and would love to come to W.A. one day.
Jason.
Paul,
Thanks for being so transparent. You spoke for many and not only for photographers. I’m a writer and I assure you that no matter what the medium, artists face this struggle, make the same mistakes, and hopefully find our way back to the path we should be on.
I’m so grateful to know I’m not alone on this journey. You couldn’t be more right. It’s not about the money. It’s not even about what other people think of our work, or us. As my agent said, “The objective is not to write a book that will be on the NY Times bestseller list. You’re goal is to write a book that when people are finished reading they will clutch the book to their hearts and say, ‘Ah, I knew that. I just never heard it that way before.'”
When we succeed—maintain our focus and do what we were created to do—everything else will be added unto us.
Thanks again, Paul. I look forward to seeing more from you.
Paul, you started off as a search engine optimiser, you admit that, you are still actively attempting to have your name come up first through any search engine. fine art my friend, is when you take a blank piece of canvas, some pastels, and paint what you SEE. What you tend to do is take a generic picture, alter the ‘goodness’ out of it, and call it ‘Paul Pichugin fine art’ …
The true artist’s of this awesome, and sometimes awful planet may find your work at times, disturbing, knowing that every shot you take goes straight from your camera, to your PC, has been altered to hell computer apps, and is attempted to be flogged off to the ‘discerning’ people of the world who see it for what it is. An artist can always see it for it is, a photograph that has been Photoshopped to buggery,\ SEO’ed through FB and Twitter, and printed off to be sold as ‘art’ using expensive equipment.
With all due respect, sometimes the best images are captured when least expected, not chasing a storm, FIRE, the Swan river at night *yawn*, and passed off as ‘art’..
I happen to know of a 14 year old girl who captures amazing images With a relatively cheap camera <$350.00 which captivate the mind, body and soul.
Now that is a great feat in itself (proud father prejudice), however she has never once thought of 'enhancing' her 'fine art' with the help of any APP, PHOTOSHOP, or anything of the sort – She just genuinely captures fantastic , unaltered images of things she, in her own mind, thinks is 'a moment in time'
Some shots this girl captures could be classed as racism, classism?, or downright ugly (She always asks with the utmost politeness before capturing an image and treats everyone she meets the same).
One thing she does not go out of her way to do is capture an image that she thinks someone else would like to have printed and placed on the wall of their home, someone would pay for, or something she would find personally unsavoury (She doe's NOT photograph peoples house's burning down)
One thing you might find interesting, is this 14 year old girl doe's not have a twitter account, (she thinks twitter is for wrestlers and hipsters), has never used INSTAGRAM or any other photo streaming site, and rarely uses her personal facebook page, however she occasionally shares pictures she thinks might uplift people or "put a smile on xxxx's face"
One thing you may find interesting, is this young lass suffers from mild Autism, don't be alarmed, she isn't 'crazy' or 'loopy' and i don't think she would care if you thought that of her :-) She just loves capturing some great 'moments in time' <(A little cliched, I know)
The thing I personally find most fascinating about this young girl, is she has many other great talents, Incredible young sportswoman, amazing cook, (sometimes i wish she would photograph her own food but she is far too modest), great babysitter, friend, mentor, draws amazing pictures with a BIRO pen (seriously incredible), creates her own music electronically and accousticly, does amazing crochet/knitting work that would be the envy of women 70 years her senior, and has just graduated to a brown belt, black tip in her chosen field of martial arts.
She never has once sought praise, reward, or recompence for the hard work she has put into her chosen hobbies. I guess my point is Paul, perhaps you are asking a little too much recognition for your work, considering what you do. I am in no way trying to make you feel bad, but I thought you may be able to use some perspective on your situation.
Paul i wish you all the best.
I never started as a search engine optimiser, I’m not sure where you got that impression from? I also don’t think you have a clue what I do. You also completely missed the point of my post, for the majority of my photography journey I have not sought any of the things you are talking about. My reasons for taking photos has never been what you described.
I’m glad your 14 year old friend enjoys her hobby. Having a go at me because I use photoshop is pretty naive of you. All photos are processed, including your 14 year old friends, whether the camera does it or the artist does it, it gets done. Have a look at the greats of landscape photography in the film era, like Ansel Adams.. he would spend *days* in the dark room dodging, burning and moulding his raw photos into the vision that he had. The majority of my images are barely touched, they are stitched for the high resolution printing that I like and colour matched, some dodging and burning goes into them as well.
I’d love to chat more, but you are hiding behind an anonymous name and a *fake* hotmail address.. so I don’t really give your opinions much weight to be honest.
Dear Paul,
I read your post via a facebook link, and i just wanted to add some words of support to you if I may.
Balancing a creative life with the world of commerce is a hard one. I’ve been extremely lucky because people like what I do, so everything has grown on a very organic level for me. I fully realise that this situation is a rare one for most, with the reality that most have to bend to the whims of the commercial pressures.
I think that all you can do is be yourself and stay true to what you like doing. If you do that, everything else follows naturally. That ‘natural course’ may not be what you want though. For most, doing what you love and that comes naturally does not mean success. It means happiness at their own image creation only. I think this is all we can really strive to do – please ourselves first and foremost. Running a business is a completely separate entity and one shouldn’t confuse your own art creativity and business as the same thing, there lies danger.
I’ve been noticing off late that things like facebook and other social media sites tempt us to keep everything current, to keep other people’s interests in what we do going. The truth is that attention spans are decreasing for web based information, and I think it’s foolish to try to compete in this way. In fact, it’s foolish to compete at all.
Someone who believes in themselves and their art, doesn’t compete. They’re not even in the race. They’re on their own journey, going with the flow of what transpires.
I often feel that people think they have to work *hard* at their photography, or that they have to *Strive*. I don’t think so – all that does is put tremendous pressure on a talent. Talent needs to be nurtured, taken care of because it is precious. Be kind to your creativity and all else will follow, whatever that may be, is for us to find out.
Hi Paul, an interesting read that I too am feeling at present. Just like you, I see those making (supposedly) making good money from the mainstream style images. Personally I hate some of those styles and refuse to follow the crowd – that’s my nature I guess.
As someone who enjoys taking,what can be described as portraits, the idea of those candy-coated portraits everyone is copying is really off putting for me.
I’ve bookmarked this – kind of a therapeutic read for me
http://www.editorialphoto.com/articles/doug_menuez/
Steve.
Hey Steve,
Thanks for taking the time to comment, I just started reading that article.. and it’s gone into my bookmarks as well.. it’s incredible! Thank you so much for posting that!
– paul
Hi Paul,
Wonderful post. I think we all go through this stage. And I know saying this to you does not necessarily help. Living a creative life is never easy and particularly so when you are trying to make a living out of it.
One of the best things to do is find like minded creative people who you can share ideas and thoughts with and get advice and help from. Make sure some of those creative types are also good business types. Many creatives are not good business people, and those creatives who do succeed financially are normally better business people than they are creative. ( and don’t always believe what people say about how well they are doing, people tell BS ).
Often it’s good just to slow down, take a step back, re-group and re-plan and then when your ready get going again. Remember small wins are just as good as big wins. Small wins in the right direction will still get you to where you are going. And really the journey is more important than the destination, i think.
I think its also important to just be true to yourself. Do the work for yourself first, if others like it then thats a bonus. Most great artists do their own work. Most who try and produce work for a market all end up looking the same.
Take care, cheers Steve
Paul,
Brilliant post, this is what is so relevant about blogs, it’s raw, unfettered by ego and truly authentic. It;s not just the creatives that go through such journeys, so too do we service types! I’ve been watching your work for quite a while now and you remind me of a photographer i follow faithfully, and buy from, in Scotland, purely landscape work and truly stunning, you are an amazing photographer, don;t lose sight of that.
Let;s catch up for a coffee, meet each other for real, and share our experiences :)
Cheers,
Jan
Thank you Jan, it would be great to catch up for coffee :)
hello paul,
first off you do take very good photographs and i know that you have inspired many people, i know with my self that i have a love hate relationship with the camera, i go through periods where i am inspired and cant shoot enough, full of eagerness and get up and go, then after a while i loose it, become frustrated at times and start to question my abilities although generally peoples comments about what i do are most positive.
When this happens i just put the camera down, usually on a shelf in the lounge room and let it sit, i have come to accept that this is a natural cycle for me, that works for me, it doesnt take long for the want to take more photographs to return, like you say , have a break, refresh.
Definitely have to take some time to recharge my batteries so to speak!
Hello Paul,
Wow this is so raw and straight from your honest heart. I really do appreciate where you are coming from. To set aside ego as you have and just show your true vulnerability is worthy of those accolades you are not seeking.
Paul your words are spoken in truth and I have noticed what you have said, watching beautiful photographic art being posted and not being as `awestruck’ so to speak. It seemed to have no life of it’s own as it had in the past. I even questioned my inner critique as to weather I was judgeing someone elses work too harshly or if maybe I was just getting bored with your work. Somehow they all started to look very similar. I too am a creative being and have come to the same place quiet a few times. Always trying to guess the next trend and create what the `crowd’ wants. I have discovered I lost my joy, passion and way also. I just dropped everything, stopped cold turkey.
I don’t need to create to provide for my family anymore as you do so that pressure lurking in the background has never been a factor. I know now that a creative spirit has its ebbs and flows. The flows are fantastic but the ebbs… well no need to tell you. I think you have made a wise choice indeed to take stock of your passion. Without the natural flow coming from our spirit the passion ceases to be.
I have pulled myself into check many times as like you (with the world just a button push away) I was overwhelmed with the extreme talent and individuality of other people and their work. I felt overshadowed and underwhelmed with my own talent. I got into competitive mode once again.
For months now my passion has been stagnant. I again have forgotten this timely reminder that you so generously shared. To create from MY HEART and create what I LOVE…. for me. If someone else feels the same that is a compliment but I don’t ever want to create just to please others and keep up with trends. That has never been me. I lost me in it all and then became my own worst critque. I know the passion is still within as somedays it is screaming to be set free. My ego of not being `good enough’ has told self why bother.
After reading this wonderful and humble post I have once again realised my own demise… that I have been my own worst enemy. It is not a happy place for the creative being. So Paul a HUGE thankyou for this timely reminder to let passion just be….just flow. Our spirits know what it is they love and how to create a masterpiece. It is all in the eye of the beholder. From here forward I will take mind out of the picture and go back to those glorious days of just letting my passion take form.
There has even been creations that I loved making but hated once completed and thought they were only fit for the garbage. You know what …. EVERY time this has happened someone has come along and has been totally in love with it, this made me come into a belief that we do not even always create what we will truly love but are creating for others without realising it. After all not everyone is a creative being and they so appreciate that we are and have different tastes than us.
There is more going on in our spirits than we can ever know. May I not only thankyou but encourage you to do exactly as you want. It is not indulgent at all Paul it is your very lifes love, your work. I put a short clip on my wall yesterday I will post it to your wall. It is also timely for me. Things happen for a reason and this time I feel it is for me to get back onto my hearts path.
I look forward to sharing this journey with you Paul I am sure there will be much to awaken my hearts eyes ?
Paul just a quick comment focusing on one point you made in this post.
You mentioned you don’t want to shoot the same spots that everyone does. Well with one photo that is just what you did. You captured the boatshed in Crawley a location that has been photographed a million times over the years.
The first time I saw your photo it was to me the best I’d seen of the boatshed. It still is today. You took a shot that everyone else takes and made it your own.
Good luck with the new direction your going in I hope you find what you’re looking for.
When I photographed the Boat shed.. I was new to Perth and the location was new to me, I hadn’t seen all that many photos of it at the time. Now it seems that everyone passing by the shed has to stop and take a photo of it :)
Thanks for the comment Nathaniel, really appreciated :)